Dolores Callaghan Quattrin
Birth: 1 Oct 1930, San Francisco, CA
Death: 4 Apr 2010, Walnut Creek, CA
Spouse: John (Giovanni) Battista Luigi Quattrin
Birth: 12 Feb 1928, Zoppola, Italy
Death: 23 Feb 2003, San Francisco, CA
Marriage: 21 Aug 1954, San Francisco
Children: David Michael Jude (1954-)
Kevin Joseph Patrick (1960-)
Laura Ann Elizabeth (1968-)
Dolores was born on October 1, 1930, to Lester and Catherine Callaghan. She was named after Our Lady of Dolors to whom her mother had prayed when they found she was pregnant while Lester was out of work. Dolores said the statue at St. Brigid’s Church looked like Catherine. She disliked her name because it means "sorrow," and she did not think it fit her. Her cousin Geri called her Ressie (which didn't help) because, as a baby, Dolores pronounced her name Res.
Dolores spent her early life at 301 Hugo Street in St. Agnes Parish. When she was five, they moved to 1229 Vallejo Street which she always thought of as her home. She was an only child, and she remembered going everywhere with her parents. There were two theatres nearby, and they went all the time, Dolores often riding on Les’s shoulders. She loved old movies and knew everything about everybody. She read all the fan magazines, just like her father’s mother Ellen had with the social pages. Her son Kevin would call her in the middle of the night and say, "Turn on channel such-and-such. Who is that character actor?” and she would say, “ Oh, he was in … with … and he was married to …” She was IMDB before the Internet Movie Database was created.
Summers were spent visiting the ranch in Rio Vista where Les had grown up, at the Fischer’s horse ranch in La Honda, or at the Russian River. She was never close with her Fischer cousins since they were older than she. Plus, they did not see each other very often in the City or for holidays. She remembered staying with them once when Catherine and Les went out of town for a Gripmans’ Convention, and she liked them—especially Alice. Mostly she remembered Charlie’s humor and little practical jokes. She was closer to her Callaghan cousins. She remembered staying in Rio Vista and her cousin Nadine Woods helped her get ready for a dance, fixing her hair. She thought to herself at the time, “This must be what it is like to have a sister.”
Dolores had a difficult relationship with her mother at times, but she knew she was loved. She was extremely close with her father and Catherine might have been a little jealous, but Dolores remembered little things that her mother used to do for her, like warming her school uniform in the oven in the morning so it was toasty warm when she dressed or making buttered bread with sugar as a snack. Those kinds of things reminded her that her mother loved her, too.
Dolores went to St. Brigid’s Grammar School and High School on Van Ness and Broadway. She loved it there and made many life-long friends. She always looked forward to the school reunions and attended well into the 2000s. She was heartbroken when they closed the Parish. At St. Brigid’s, she worked in the rectory doing secretarial work, a position she won as a result of her penmanship and deportment. She was not as good with machines as her mother was (no piano lessons), but she did very well with the interpersonal aspects of the job. After she graduated, the family bought their first house, at 386 Capistrano in Corpus Christi Parish. She attended nearby City College of San Francisco, where she received her AA degree. She became a medical secretary for the Southern Pacific Railway.
Dolores had couple of serious boy friends after high school. One was an Italian named Rudy Bortolussi. She really liked him but they broke up when he decided to go away to college to become a pharmacist. He wanted her to wait for him, but it seemed too long a wait and she knew they were too young to make that kind of commitment. She always had a picture of her husband John in a frame on her dresser. After she died, Kevin found a picture of Rudy in the frame behind John’s photo. It had been there the whole time. Another boyfriend was a tall, good-looking, athletic young Irishman named Ray White who had pursued her relentlessly in college. (Years later, she liked to tell people that Ray and his wife ended up living on the French Riviera and that could have been her life.) But in early 1954, Dolores met John Quattrin at a friend’s wedding.
Death: 4 Apr 2010, Walnut Creek, CA
Spouse: John (Giovanni) Battista Luigi Quattrin
Birth: 12 Feb 1928, Zoppola, Italy
Death: 23 Feb 2003, San Francisco, CA
Marriage: 21 Aug 1954, San Francisco
Children: David Michael Jude (1954-)
Kevin Joseph Patrick (1960-)
Laura Ann Elizabeth (1968-)
Dolores was born on October 1, 1930, to Lester and Catherine Callaghan. She was named after Our Lady of Dolors to whom her mother had prayed when they found she was pregnant while Lester was out of work. Dolores said the statue at St. Brigid’s Church looked like Catherine. She disliked her name because it means "sorrow," and she did not think it fit her. Her cousin Geri called her Ressie (which didn't help) because, as a baby, Dolores pronounced her name Res.
Dolores spent her early life at 301 Hugo Street in St. Agnes Parish. When she was five, they moved to 1229 Vallejo Street which she always thought of as her home. She was an only child, and she remembered going everywhere with her parents. There were two theatres nearby, and they went all the time, Dolores often riding on Les’s shoulders. She loved old movies and knew everything about everybody. She read all the fan magazines, just like her father’s mother Ellen had with the social pages. Her son Kevin would call her in the middle of the night and say, "Turn on channel such-and-such. Who is that character actor?” and she would say, “ Oh, he was in … with … and he was married to …” She was IMDB before the Internet Movie Database was created.
Summers were spent visiting the ranch in Rio Vista where Les had grown up, at the Fischer’s horse ranch in La Honda, or at the Russian River. She was never close with her Fischer cousins since they were older than she. Plus, they did not see each other very often in the City or for holidays. She remembered staying with them once when Catherine and Les went out of town for a Gripmans’ Convention, and she liked them—especially Alice. Mostly she remembered Charlie’s humor and little practical jokes. She was closer to her Callaghan cousins. She remembered staying in Rio Vista and her cousin Nadine Woods helped her get ready for a dance, fixing her hair. She thought to herself at the time, “This must be what it is like to have a sister.”
Dolores had a difficult relationship with her mother at times, but she knew she was loved. She was extremely close with her father and Catherine might have been a little jealous, but Dolores remembered little things that her mother used to do for her, like warming her school uniform in the oven in the morning so it was toasty warm when she dressed or making buttered bread with sugar as a snack. Those kinds of things reminded her that her mother loved her, too.
Dolores went to St. Brigid’s Grammar School and High School on Van Ness and Broadway. She loved it there and made many life-long friends. She always looked forward to the school reunions and attended well into the 2000s. She was heartbroken when they closed the Parish. At St. Brigid’s, she worked in the rectory doing secretarial work, a position she won as a result of her penmanship and deportment. She was not as good with machines as her mother was (no piano lessons), but she did very well with the interpersonal aspects of the job. After she graduated, the family bought their first house, at 386 Capistrano in Corpus Christi Parish. She attended nearby City College of San Francisco, where she received her AA degree. She became a medical secretary for the Southern Pacific Railway.
Dolores had couple of serious boy friends after high school. One was an Italian named Rudy Bortolussi. She really liked him but they broke up when he decided to go away to college to become a pharmacist. He wanted her to wait for him, but it seemed too long a wait and she knew they were too young to make that kind of commitment. She always had a picture of her husband John in a frame on her dresser. After she died, Kevin found a picture of Rudy in the frame behind John’s photo. It had been there the whole time. Another boyfriend was a tall, good-looking, athletic young Irishman named Ray White who had pursued her relentlessly in college. (Years later, she liked to tell people that Ray and his wife ended up living on the French Riviera and that could have been her life.) But in early 1954, Dolores met John Quattrin at a friend’s wedding.
John was born Giovanni Battista Quattrin on February 12, 1928, in the town of Zoppola, Friuli, Italy. The Quattrin family can be traced back to the garrison that was sent by the Holy Roman Emperor to Zoppola in 1250 to build and staff the new castle there. John’s parents were Andrea Quattrin and Emilia Petris. Andrea had immigrated to California in 1915 to help his cousins develop farms in Kingsburg. On one his trips home, he was informed by his mother that she and Emilia’s mother had decided their children should marry, which they did in 1927. Emilia became pregnant with John, and Andrea went back to America to start his own farm in Lemore. The farm failed in 1930, and Andrea decided to restart life in San Francisco. He went back to Zoppola to meet his two-year-old son for the first time and bring him and Emilia to America.
John grew up as an only child in the Potrero District of San Francisco, on 18th Street and Mariposa. He went to Everett Middle School and Lick-Wilmerding High School. He liked to tell his sons that he class valedictorian, but they always retorted that were only 12 students in his class. During his senior year, Emilia became pregnant and his only brother, Daniel was born 18 years after him. (While he was in the Army, she would tell people that Danny was John’s son by some girl he got pregnant. She wan embarrassed to have a child at her age. But woe unto anyone who called her Grandma!) He spent a year at UC Berkeley, but then he dropped out to join the Army when he heard the GI Bill might be eliminated. He was in the 1st Cavalry and trained to drive a tank and an armored car. His troop was scheduled to ship out to Japan, and he was looking forward to traveling abroad and seeing the world. Unfortunately, someone found out he had worked as a stock clerk at JC Penney while in high school, and the Army needed a clerk at Camp Stoneman, near Pittsburg, California. In his two years there, he made Corporal and had a fairly easy time of it. He could go home to San Francisco on weekends and to his uncles' houses in Nickols during the week, so he always ate home-cooked meals. He “liberated” boots, work clothes and blankets that were to be burned and sent them to his uncles and cousins in Italy who had suffered under constant occupation.
John used his military service to pay for schooling at the University of San Francisco, but he did not graduate. He developed an ulcer due to the stress of school and work (and drinking). When his doctor told him to give one up, he gave up school (not drinking) and switched jobs to finance, starting in 1952 as Employee #7 at Eureka Federal Savings and Loan where he would spend the next 33 years, rising from teller to Senior Vice President and Controller, in charge of the Savings division.
John grew up as an only child in the Potrero District of San Francisco, on 18th Street and Mariposa. He went to Everett Middle School and Lick-Wilmerding High School. He liked to tell his sons that he class valedictorian, but they always retorted that were only 12 students in his class. During his senior year, Emilia became pregnant and his only brother, Daniel was born 18 years after him. (While he was in the Army, she would tell people that Danny was John’s son by some girl he got pregnant. She wan embarrassed to have a child at her age. But woe unto anyone who called her Grandma!) He spent a year at UC Berkeley, but then he dropped out to join the Army when he heard the GI Bill might be eliminated. He was in the 1st Cavalry and trained to drive a tank and an armored car. His troop was scheduled to ship out to Japan, and he was looking forward to traveling abroad and seeing the world. Unfortunately, someone found out he had worked as a stock clerk at JC Penney while in high school, and the Army needed a clerk at Camp Stoneman, near Pittsburg, California. In his two years there, he made Corporal and had a fairly easy time of it. He could go home to San Francisco on weekends and to his uncles' houses in Nickols during the week, so he always ate home-cooked meals. He “liberated” boots, work clothes and blankets that were to be burned and sent them to his uncles and cousins in Italy who had suffered under constant occupation.
John used his military service to pay for schooling at the University of San Francisco, but he did not graduate. He developed an ulcer due to the stress of school and work (and drinking). When his doctor told him to give one up, he gave up school (not drinking) and switched jobs to finance, starting in 1952 as Employee #7 at Eureka Federal Savings and Loan where he would spend the next 33 years, rising from teller to Senior Vice President and Controller, in charge of the Savings division.
Dolores and John married on August 21, 1954, at Corpus Christi Church. The wedding was followed by a small family reception at Catherine’s house. Initially, they lived with Catherine and Les at the house on Capistrano. Their first son, David Michael, was born while they lived there. The house was crowded and, after a year, they moved to an apartment in the Excelsior District. In 1957, thanks to promotions at EFS, they bought the house at 195 Canyon Drive in Southern Hills where they lived for the next 50 years. Dolores continued to work at the SP until 1960, with Les and Catherine babysitting Dave. In 1960, with a second child due, Dolores stopped working. She spent her time in the 1960s keeping house, raising the children, and being an executive’s wife.
While never thrilled by housekeeping, she knew it needed doing. But Dolores was never comfortable with the “executive wife” role. The other executive wives would get together, with the president’s wife acting as Queen Bee. The wife of the Board Chairman—and who was also the President’s mother—was much more down to earth and Dolores liked her very much, but she never became friends with the others. She was from a working class background and felt a little like a gatecrasher that would get caught any minute and thrown out. It did not help that John was also working class and did not play the game throwing cocktail parties or by moving down to Peninsula instead of staying in the neighborhood. Dolores did plan to throw a cocktail party for the executives once, but she canceled it after John was brought home drunk by two policemen one night.
She was very comfortable at Riordan’s Mothers’ Club where she made many friends with whom she remained close after Dave graduated: Marge Carey (a navy wife from Chicago), Kaye Ryan (a cop’s wife from the Mission), Mary Dowd, and Mary Dudley. She never established those kinds of friendships in the SI Mothers’ Guild. “All Irish and not an O’ among them,” she would say, meaning they did not have grandiose and heraldric names. Her mother would have put it differently: “We’re shanty Irish, not lace curtain. And proud of it.” The SI Mothers’ Club were lace curtain, if Irish at all, and Dolores never enjoyed it.
Like her parents, Dolores was a devout Catholic, and she became an active member of the Church of the Epiphany Parish. She attended mass every Sunday as well as many other days of the week. When her son Kevin was an altar boy, he would often get assigned 6:30 am mass because they knew she would get him there. In the last decade of her life, she went every day. She was president of the Epiphany CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) and was the recording secretary for both the Epiphany Mothers’ Guild and the American Council of Catholic Women. She sold hot dogs on Wednesdays at St. James. Years later, she attended the wedding of Kevin’s first girlfriend and the groom approached and said” I know you! You’re the Hot Dog Lady!”
After her children were grown, she became a member of the Ladies Auxiliary at St. Mary’s hospital and volunteered weekly in the gift shop. She also volunteered in the Epiphany Parish office until 2007, counting the Sunday collections with her friends to whom she referred as the Irish Underground because they were all of Irish descent and worked in the basement at the rectory. The Irish Underground was in contrast to the Irish Mafia, the women in the Riordan Mother’s Guild, like Kay Ryan and Marge Carey.
Much of her life centered about her children. She was a stay-at-home mom, one of dozens on her block and millions across the country at the time. Mondays were for laundry, Saturdays for cleaning the house. Dinner was on the table every night at 6 pm, followed by family television time. She read books to the kids and helped with their homework. She never missed a baseball, volleyball or football game where the kids were involved, including all of the football games Kevin coached. She became quite a football fan over time.
Family vacations were important to Dolores, though John often would spend the weekend with the family and go back to work during the week. Usually a week or two was spent at the Russian River, in the pool at the Brookside Lodge, or at the beach at Jenner. Later, the family would spend the week at Santa Cruz, touring the area and going to the Boardwalk. There was an epic trip in 1964 to visit all the California Missions because Dave had learned about Mission history in school that year. Emilia rode in the back seat between David and Kevin, and the trip finish at Disneyland. (Later, one high point was considered to be Emilia drinking the priest’s last beer at Mission Soledad.) In 1968, they took a trip to Hearst Castle, but Dolores got sick on the bus ride up the hill and threw up in the garden (she was pregnant with Laura at the time). The docents would not let her inside for fear she would get sick on the expensive carpet, so she never got to see all the beauty inside. Later, the trips got more distant: in 1977, Hawaii; in 1978, Italy and Ireland; in 1979, a drive to British Columbia to visit Quattrin relatives; in 1980, a train trip to Toronto with Laura and John’s cousin Maxine (no John). After that, with the family more dispersed, the family vacations ended.
While never thrilled by housekeeping, she knew it needed doing. But Dolores was never comfortable with the “executive wife” role. The other executive wives would get together, with the president’s wife acting as Queen Bee. The wife of the Board Chairman—and who was also the President’s mother—was much more down to earth and Dolores liked her very much, but she never became friends with the others. She was from a working class background and felt a little like a gatecrasher that would get caught any minute and thrown out. It did not help that John was also working class and did not play the game throwing cocktail parties or by moving down to Peninsula instead of staying in the neighborhood. Dolores did plan to throw a cocktail party for the executives once, but she canceled it after John was brought home drunk by two policemen one night.
She was very comfortable at Riordan’s Mothers’ Club where she made many friends with whom she remained close after Dave graduated: Marge Carey (a navy wife from Chicago), Kaye Ryan (a cop’s wife from the Mission), Mary Dowd, and Mary Dudley. She never established those kinds of friendships in the SI Mothers’ Guild. “All Irish and not an O’ among them,” she would say, meaning they did not have grandiose and heraldric names. Her mother would have put it differently: “We’re shanty Irish, not lace curtain. And proud of it.” The SI Mothers’ Club were lace curtain, if Irish at all, and Dolores never enjoyed it.
Like her parents, Dolores was a devout Catholic, and she became an active member of the Church of the Epiphany Parish. She attended mass every Sunday as well as many other days of the week. When her son Kevin was an altar boy, he would often get assigned 6:30 am mass because they knew she would get him there. In the last decade of her life, she went every day. She was president of the Epiphany CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) and was the recording secretary for both the Epiphany Mothers’ Guild and the American Council of Catholic Women. She sold hot dogs on Wednesdays at St. James. Years later, she attended the wedding of Kevin’s first girlfriend and the groom approached and said” I know you! You’re the Hot Dog Lady!”
After her children were grown, she became a member of the Ladies Auxiliary at St. Mary’s hospital and volunteered weekly in the gift shop. She also volunteered in the Epiphany Parish office until 2007, counting the Sunday collections with her friends to whom she referred as the Irish Underground because they were all of Irish descent and worked in the basement at the rectory. The Irish Underground was in contrast to the Irish Mafia, the women in the Riordan Mother’s Guild, like Kay Ryan and Marge Carey.
Much of her life centered about her children. She was a stay-at-home mom, one of dozens on her block and millions across the country at the time. Mondays were for laundry, Saturdays for cleaning the house. Dinner was on the table every night at 6 pm, followed by family television time. She read books to the kids and helped with their homework. She never missed a baseball, volleyball or football game where the kids were involved, including all of the football games Kevin coached. She became quite a football fan over time.
Family vacations were important to Dolores, though John often would spend the weekend with the family and go back to work during the week. Usually a week or two was spent at the Russian River, in the pool at the Brookside Lodge, or at the beach at Jenner. Later, the family would spend the week at Santa Cruz, touring the area and going to the Boardwalk. There was an epic trip in 1964 to visit all the California Missions because Dave had learned about Mission history in school that year. Emilia rode in the back seat between David and Kevin, and the trip finish at Disneyland. (Later, one high point was considered to be Emilia drinking the priest’s last beer at Mission Soledad.) In 1968, they took a trip to Hearst Castle, but Dolores got sick on the bus ride up the hill and threw up in the garden (she was pregnant with Laura at the time). The docents would not let her inside for fear she would get sick on the expensive carpet, so she never got to see all the beauty inside. Later, the trips got more distant: in 1977, Hawaii; in 1978, Italy and Ireland; in 1979, a drive to British Columbia to visit Quattrin relatives; in 1980, a train trip to Toronto with Laura and John’s cousin Maxine (no John). After that, with the family more dispersed, the family vacations ended.
Dolores saw the house as something to decorate. She liked arranging flowers and would redecorate the living room and dining room for each season. She hated it when John (or, later, her children) would take the huge centerpiece off the table at Christmas or Thanksgiving; she liked to see the flowers. The Christmas tree was always something special and she often made the decorations herself. She loved beautiful and fancy things: French provincial furniture, Waterford Crystal (though she accepted Galway if necessary), classic statuary (especially angels), and Renaissance paintings. John’s successful career allowed her to indulge herself. In 1968, she had the kitchen remodeled with beautiful French country-style cabinets, though they kept the 1954 Pullman nook and table because of space issues. Later, she redid the outside of the house with aluminum siding and stonework. In 1970, they had the outside of the house redone in aluminum side and stonework. At the top of the front stairs, visitors were met by a statue of Rebecca at the Well, which she purchased at Silvestri’s on Bayshore Blvd. In 1975, she added three bedrooms and a bath upstairs and turned two of the bedrooms downstairs into a family room.
As her parents got older, Dolores took over the Callaghan family dinners for Thanksgiving and Easter. Her cousin Geri Moore hosted Christmas until she passed in 1978. While she did not really enjoy cooking, she loved to put on an event for the family. There was either a turkey or a ham covered in pineapple and cherries and always a leg of lamb for Easter. She usually made her homemade stuffing (an all-night affair) or chili beans as a side—and the ubiquitous manicotti with her mother’s meat gravy. Out would come the milk-glass serving dishes and the crystal olive and pickle bowls that had always been on Catherine’s table. (Kevin continues that tradition.) On very special occasions, there would be a St. Honore’s cake from Dianda’s on Mission Street. After Dave married and bought a house in Concord, he hosted Thanksgiving.
Dolores was a pre-Vatican II Catholic who preferred the ritualistic to the communal Church. It felt more secure. The changes in the Church, the City, and the American culture in the late 1960s were extremely uncomfortable to her. She prayed her way through the time, but it felt like her foundations were shifting under her feet. To compound things, her father died in 1968 and mother in 1969. Dave grew more independent from the family during high school and he moved out in 1973, a year after graduating.
After Dave moved out and Laura began school, Dolores began to branch out from the housekeeper role in order to establish new foundations. She always loved to sing and had a beautiful alto voice. One of Kevin’s earliest memories was her singing "A Little Bit of Heaven." She began singing in the church choir. Extremely proud of her Irish heritage, she became a founding member of the United Irish Cultural Center. She also began taking a series of art classes in charcoal drawing, oil painting, and stained glass work, with her cousin Nadine.
Dolores and Nadine were second cousins on the Callaghan side. They knew each other but were not all that close when younger. After Lester and Catherine passed away, they came into more constant contact through John’s handling of the Callaghan Estate. Lester and Nadine’s mother Rita were among the seven nieces and nephews who inherited Great-Aunt Nara Sullivan’s estate. Dolores and Nadine used to joke about being “heiresses.” In Nora’s estate, she left $10,000 (worth $120,000 in 2013 dollars) to each of her husband’s four nieces and nephews. To her seven Callaghan nieces and nephews, she bequeathed all or part of 19 pieces of real estate, gas rights, cash, stocks, and other real property. The income was minimal in the 1960s and 1970s, and John found handling the taxes annoying. (He had his secretary handle it.) The estate was worth $367,000 in 1941 ($5 million in 2010), and much of the real properties were “dead assets.” That is, they could not be converted to cash because of all the owners involved. One property had a hotel and another had a bait-shop, but the rents were minimal. The big coup was when McDonalds took out a lease to build on another property. Dolores and Nadine referred to it as “Our McDonalds.” By the 1990s, developments in gas pumping turned into monthly income of over $1000.
Dolores had become very close to cousin Nadine after Nadine’s mother, Rita, passed away, and they went everywhere together for the next 30 years. People often mistook them for sisters. Both were very good painters, but Dolores rarely finished a painting. She had an artist's eye that was always drawn to the least asymmetry or flaw and was never quite satisfied with the final product. Together they got representatives’ licenses, and they began attending wholesalers’ shows as buyers. Their lunches and buying sprees were legendary.
In 1978, the family planned the trip to Italy for John’s 50th birthday and added Ireland to the trip in a “demand for equal time.” The museums of Florence and Rome, especially the Vatican Museum, were high points for Dolores. The Pitti Palace in Florence made up for that missed opportunity at Hearst Castle.
In 1975, John and Dolores exchange season tickets as an anniversary present. John got Dolores season tickets for the San Francisco Civic Light Opera, and she got him SF 49er tickets. Kevin and Laura often went with Dolores to the musicals in town and were privileged to see Richard Burton in Camelot, Yul Bryner in The King and I, Mako in Pacific Overtures, and Jerry Orbach in Chicago. All three children used and enjoyed the football tickets, especially during the Dynasty of the 1980s. After John and Dave stopped going to the games, Dolores went, taking a neighbor-friend. Her grandson Erik used the tickets until Candlestick was closed and the Niners moved to Santa Clara.
Dolores spent time with friends she had made in the Mothers’ Guild at Epiphany. Ostensibly getting together for craft projects, they referred to themselves as the Happy Hookers. Though they did a variety of projects from flower arranging to latch-hook rugs to Styrofoam figurines, it was mostly an excuse to get together for lunch and laughs.
In 1979, Dolores and John decided to have the big wedding they were not able to have in 1954. They celebrated their 25th Anniversary with a renewal of their vows at the Church of the Epiphany on August 26, 1979. John rented a Rolls Royce to chauffer them to the Church and the reception at The Italian American Social Club. There was a live band and a sit-down dinner were 300. Members from three generations of the family, business friends, the Irish Mafia, and friends of their children attended. By this point, unfortunately, Dolores was no longer in contact with any of the living Silk descendants (other than through Christmas cards), so the Silks were not represented.
In 1984, Dolores became a grandmother for the first time, with Kevin’s son Rudraigh being born in January and David’s son Erik being born in April. Cian followed in 1988, Ceri in 1990, Sean in 1991, and finally Joanna in 1996. Dolores doted on them all, especially Rudraigh as the first grandchild and Ceri as the first grand daughter. She babysat most days and picked the kids up from school, often taking them for snacks and shopping for Transformers, Power Rangers, and Beanie Babies. Nadine convinced Dolores that Beanie Babies were the next great investment, like baseball cards and comic books. She left hundreds of them to her granddaughters. Christmas morning was at her house an extravaganza that seemed to go on forever. Then it would be repeated later in the day or a day later for David’s sons. She could always be found in the crowd at her grandchildren’s games and theatrical performances. She even paid for their Catholic school education, usually from the rent she collected on her mother’s house. As she had with her children, she attended everything her grandchildren did, from basketball and volleyball games to plays and piano recitals. She would make the trek over to Concord to see David’s sons play soccer.
John retired in November of 1984, but he and Dolores continued to live parallel lives. His centered around hanging out with his buddies at the Granada Café, while hers was with Nadine and Marge or other friends, taking care of the grandchildren, singing in the Choir, and working in the Church Rectory. After she graduated from high school, she had dyed her hair from brown to platinum blonde like Marilyn Monroe, and she went to a hairdresser every Saturday for the rest of her life. When she first went into the care facility in 2008, she was fading. When Kevin found a hairdresser who would come to her room and do her hair and make-up, she perked right up. He thinks it added a year to her life.
John’s financial status allowed Dolores aid her children even more. David married in 1981 and Dolores and John provided the down payment for their new house. When Kevin was looking to buy a house in Pacifica in 1994, Dolores provided the down payment, as she had for David. When her youngest grandchild, Joanna, was born, she again babysat, often dozing on the bench by the pool with a cup of tea during Joanna’s nap or pulling weeds in the yard.
In 1996, Laura married. Catherine’s house on Capistrano house had been vacant for a few years as Dolores was tired of being a landlady and dealing with tenants, but, in 1997, she let Laura and Frank move into the house. Laura has always felt safe there and believed Lester and Catherine watched over her. Laura began to take over the Thanksgiving dinner duties from Dave. Dolores had another house to decorate. Again there was new furniture, dishes and cookware, and renaissance painting to buy.
In the 1900s, Kevin became interested in family history. He knew much of the Quattrin and Callaghan history, but almost nothing about the Silks. Dolores told him what she remembered Catherine telling her (much of which turned out to be wrong) and he began digging. She had been in contact with John Silk earlier, going on a Tahoe trip with him and his wife, but the two Johns had misbehaved badly and she had been too embarrassed to talk to Maria again. Kevin convinced her to write letters the Fischers, Bob Rosen, and the Schneiders. The Blooms had both passed away by this time. Bob responded quickly and he and Dolores met for lunch to talk about family stories. It was the first time they had seen each other in 50 years. Ruth Schneider had passed away, but Ruben wrote her a note telling her how much he knew Ruth would have appreciated her letter. Hal’s daughter Andrea contacted Kevin, and he and Dolores were invited to Hal’s wife’s memorial service. It was the first time Kevin had met a cousin (Wayne) whom he looked like.
In 1978, the family planned the trip to Italy for John’s 50th birthday and added Ireland to the trip in a “demand for equal time.” The museums of Florence and Rome, especially the Vatican Museum, were high points for Dolores. The Pitti Palace in Florence made up for that missed opportunity at Hearst Castle.
In 1975, John and Dolores exchange season tickets as an anniversary present. John got Dolores season tickets for the San Francisco Civic Light Opera, and she got him SF 49er tickets. Kevin and Laura often went with Dolores to the musicals in town and were privileged to see Richard Burton in Camelot, Yul Bryner in The King and I, Mako in Pacific Overtures, and Jerry Orbach in Chicago. All three children used and enjoyed the football tickets, especially during the Dynasty of the 1980s. After John and Dave stopped going to the games, Dolores went, taking a neighbor-friend. Her grandson Erik used the tickets until Candlestick was closed and the Niners moved to Santa Clara.
Dolores spent time with friends she had made in the Mothers’ Guild at Epiphany. Ostensibly getting together for craft projects, they referred to themselves as the Happy Hookers. Though they did a variety of projects from flower arranging to latch-hook rugs to Styrofoam figurines, it was mostly an excuse to get together for lunch and laughs.
In 1979, Dolores and John decided to have the big wedding they were not able to have in 1954. They celebrated their 25th Anniversary with a renewal of their vows at the Church of the Epiphany on August 26, 1979. John rented a Rolls Royce to chauffer them to the Church and the reception at The Italian American Social Club. There was a live band and a sit-down dinner were 300. Members from three generations of the family, business friends, the Irish Mafia, and friends of their children attended. By this point, unfortunately, Dolores was no longer in contact with any of the living Silk descendants (other than through Christmas cards), so the Silks were not represented.
In 1984, Dolores became a grandmother for the first time, with Kevin’s son Rudraigh being born in January and David’s son Erik being born in April. Cian followed in 1988, Ceri in 1990, Sean in 1991, and finally Joanna in 1996. Dolores doted on them all, especially Rudraigh as the first grandchild and Ceri as the first grand daughter. She babysat most days and picked the kids up from school, often taking them for snacks and shopping for Transformers, Power Rangers, and Beanie Babies. Nadine convinced Dolores that Beanie Babies were the next great investment, like baseball cards and comic books. She left hundreds of them to her granddaughters. Christmas morning was at her house an extravaganza that seemed to go on forever. Then it would be repeated later in the day or a day later for David’s sons. She could always be found in the crowd at her grandchildren’s games and theatrical performances. She even paid for their Catholic school education, usually from the rent she collected on her mother’s house. As she had with her children, she attended everything her grandchildren did, from basketball and volleyball games to plays and piano recitals. She would make the trek over to Concord to see David’s sons play soccer.
John retired in November of 1984, but he and Dolores continued to live parallel lives. His centered around hanging out with his buddies at the Granada Café, while hers was with Nadine and Marge or other friends, taking care of the grandchildren, singing in the Choir, and working in the Church Rectory. After she graduated from high school, she had dyed her hair from brown to platinum blonde like Marilyn Monroe, and she went to a hairdresser every Saturday for the rest of her life. When she first went into the care facility in 2008, she was fading. When Kevin found a hairdresser who would come to her room and do her hair and make-up, she perked right up. He thinks it added a year to her life.
John’s financial status allowed Dolores aid her children even more. David married in 1981 and Dolores and John provided the down payment for their new house. When Kevin was looking to buy a house in Pacifica in 1994, Dolores provided the down payment, as she had for David. When her youngest grandchild, Joanna, was born, she again babysat, often dozing on the bench by the pool with a cup of tea during Joanna’s nap or pulling weeds in the yard.
In 1996, Laura married. Catherine’s house on Capistrano house had been vacant for a few years as Dolores was tired of being a landlady and dealing with tenants, but, in 1997, she let Laura and Frank move into the house. Laura has always felt safe there and believed Lester and Catherine watched over her. Laura began to take over the Thanksgiving dinner duties from Dave. Dolores had another house to decorate. Again there was new furniture, dishes and cookware, and renaissance painting to buy.
In the 1900s, Kevin became interested in family history. He knew much of the Quattrin and Callaghan history, but almost nothing about the Silks. Dolores told him what she remembered Catherine telling her (much of which turned out to be wrong) and he began digging. She had been in contact with John Silk earlier, going on a Tahoe trip with him and his wife, but the two Johns had misbehaved badly and she had been too embarrassed to talk to Maria again. Kevin convinced her to write letters the Fischers, Bob Rosen, and the Schneiders. The Blooms had both passed away by this time. Bob responded quickly and he and Dolores met for lunch to talk about family stories. It was the first time they had seen each other in 50 years. Ruth Schneider had passed away, but Ruben wrote her a note telling her how much he knew Ruth would have appreciated her letter. Hal’s daughter Andrea contacted Kevin, and he and Dolores were invited to Hal’s wife’s memorial service. It was the first time Kevin had met a cousin (Wayne) whom he looked like.
In 1998, John injured himself in a fall in the post office and never fully recovered. He mostly stayed in bed for the next five years. She, with help from Laura, nursed him through that rough time. Her faith supported her through this difficult time and she began going to mass every day.
During John’s long, slow slide to the end, Dolores talked about the things she and Nadine would do and where they would travel after John’s death. But Nadine passed away from pancreatic cancer six weeks before John. John passed away on February 23, 2003, at St. Francis Hospital. The official cause of death was pneumonia, but he had stipulated in his Trust that he did not want any tubes, and so he basically starved to death. It took weeks. He was 75 years old. He was interred in Holy Angels Mausoleum at Holy Cross Cemetery. Dolores picked it out for herself and John because she loved all the marble and antique visiting chairs.
Dolores was living alone for the first time in her life. She began spending even more time with her children, at Capistrano with Laura and having weekly dinners in Pacifica with Kevin’s family. Dave even moved back home after his divorce. Dolores’ health slowly began to slowly fail. Like her mother, she was diabetic, but the diabetes seemed to affect the phrenic nerve. In 2005, she quit the choir because she could not get the deep breaths she needed in order to sing. In 2006, she began having trouble swallowing. Her legs began giving her trouble, and she began to use a walker in 2007.
In May of 2008, her children convinced her to go to the emergency room because of problems with her legs, but, while there, she had a panic attack and could not breathe. The medical staff had to intubate her. Over the next two months, she was unable to be weaned from the respirator. She had a tracheotomy and spent the next two years in a facility in Rossmoor, California. It was very expensive, but John’s financial acumen left her in a good enough situation to deal with it. Her children made sure one of them visited every day. Kevin brought fresh flowers continually, and they would sit and watch college football (her choice, not his) and sitcoms. Rossmoor took very good care of her there, and she felt safe. Her biggest frustration at the time was that she missed her granddaughter Ceri’s final school musical, Mame, and her graduation.
After a month in St. Francis’ ICU, it was determined that she needed a tracheotomy to replace the breathing tube. She was transferred to a hospital in San Leandro where they tried to wean her from the respirator. After the weaning was unsuccessful, she was transferred to a facility in Rossmoor, California, where she spent the next two years. Her children made sure one of them visited every day. Kevin brought fresh flowers continually, and they would sit and watch college football (her choice, not his) and sitcoms. Rossmoor took very good care of her there, and she felt safe. After she graduated from high school, she had dyed her hair from brown to platinum blonde like Marilyn Monroe, and she went to a hairdresser every Saturday for the rest of her life. When she first went into the care facility in 2008, she was fading. When Kevin found a hairdresser who would come to her room and do her hair and make-up, she perked right up. He thinks it added a year to her life.
Dolores passed away on Holy Saturday, April 3, 2010, but the machine kept her breathing. The family all gathered on Easter Sunday to turn off the respirator and let her go. The official cause of death was anoxic brain injury as a complication of diabetes melletis. She was 79 years old. After a mass at Epiphany church presided over by both two St. Ignatius presidents, she was interred with John in Holy Angels Mausoleum at Holy Cross Cemetery. She would have appreciated the bouquet of plastic red baby roses with an angel figurine that adorns her resting place. She loved roses and angels. In the afternoon during the summer, a shaft of light from the skylight falls across the stone, just like when she sat dozing in the sun on the bench by her son’s pool.
After her passing, Dave moved out of the house and Dolores’ grandsons Rudraigh and Cian moved in. Like Catherine watching over Laura on Capistrano, they feel Dolores watching over them. One of her phrases that she picked up from her mother was “I’ll come back to haunt you!” They know they have to keep the house or she will.
During John’s long, slow slide to the end, Dolores talked about the things she and Nadine would do and where they would travel after John’s death. But Nadine passed away from pancreatic cancer six weeks before John. John passed away on February 23, 2003, at St. Francis Hospital. The official cause of death was pneumonia, but he had stipulated in his Trust that he did not want any tubes, and so he basically starved to death. It took weeks. He was 75 years old. He was interred in Holy Angels Mausoleum at Holy Cross Cemetery. Dolores picked it out for herself and John because she loved all the marble and antique visiting chairs.
Dolores was living alone for the first time in her life. She began spending even more time with her children, at Capistrano with Laura and having weekly dinners in Pacifica with Kevin’s family. Dave even moved back home after his divorce. Dolores’ health slowly began to slowly fail. Like her mother, she was diabetic, but the diabetes seemed to affect the phrenic nerve. In 2005, she quit the choir because she could not get the deep breaths she needed in order to sing. In 2006, she began having trouble swallowing. Her legs began giving her trouble, and she began to use a walker in 2007.
In May of 2008, her children convinced her to go to the emergency room because of problems with her legs, but, while there, she had a panic attack and could not breathe. The medical staff had to intubate her. Over the next two months, she was unable to be weaned from the respirator. She had a tracheotomy and spent the next two years in a facility in Rossmoor, California. It was very expensive, but John’s financial acumen left her in a good enough situation to deal with it. Her children made sure one of them visited every day. Kevin brought fresh flowers continually, and they would sit and watch college football (her choice, not his) and sitcoms. Rossmoor took very good care of her there, and she felt safe. Her biggest frustration at the time was that she missed her granddaughter Ceri’s final school musical, Mame, and her graduation.
After a month in St. Francis’ ICU, it was determined that she needed a tracheotomy to replace the breathing tube. She was transferred to a hospital in San Leandro where they tried to wean her from the respirator. After the weaning was unsuccessful, she was transferred to a facility in Rossmoor, California, where she spent the next two years. Her children made sure one of them visited every day. Kevin brought fresh flowers continually, and they would sit and watch college football (her choice, not his) and sitcoms. Rossmoor took very good care of her there, and she felt safe. After she graduated from high school, she had dyed her hair from brown to platinum blonde like Marilyn Monroe, and she went to a hairdresser every Saturday for the rest of her life. When she first went into the care facility in 2008, she was fading. When Kevin found a hairdresser who would come to her room and do her hair and make-up, she perked right up. He thinks it added a year to her life.
Dolores passed away on Holy Saturday, April 3, 2010, but the machine kept her breathing. The family all gathered on Easter Sunday to turn off the respirator and let her go. The official cause of death was anoxic brain injury as a complication of diabetes melletis. She was 79 years old. After a mass at Epiphany church presided over by both two St. Ignatius presidents, she was interred with John in Holy Angels Mausoleum at Holy Cross Cemetery. She would have appreciated the bouquet of plastic red baby roses with an angel figurine that adorns her resting place. She loved roses and angels. In the afternoon during the summer, a shaft of light from the skylight falls across the stone, just like when she sat dozing in the sun on the bench by her son’s pool.
After her passing, Dave moved out of the house and Dolores’ grandsons Rudraigh and Cian moved in. Like Catherine watching over Laura on Capistrano, they feel Dolores watching over them. One of her phrases that she picked up from her mother was “I’ll come back to haunt you!” They know they have to keep the house or she will.
Dolores was a shy but very strong woman with tremendous endurance and tenacity. She had a big laugh, which she often cut off in mid-guffaw if she thought she was drawing attention to herself. She was generous with her time and money, especially for the family. Because of her and John’s legacy, her grandchildren will be able to live in the Bay Area, which would have been doubtful otherwise. She made a lot of friends wherever she went. People gravitated to her. She would say that she had weathered all the storms life had brought her because of her faith.